On Again Tonight
by Ernie628
Summary: If ending things was the right thing for her, why the hell did it feel so wrong?


On Again Tonight

_Summary:_ If ending things was the right thing for her, why the hell did it feel so wrong?

_Author's Note:_ This is a sort of companion piece to 'Come Around,' but this is looking at things from Jordan's perspective. It's set pre-season 1 to early season 1 and was inspired by the song 'On Again Tonight' by Trent Willmon. Enjoy, reviews are appreciated!

_Disclaimer:_ If they were mine, we would have seen JD and Elliot hooking up at the end of the season finale...screw Keith and Kim!

* * *

Damn. What the hell was she doing in his bed for the third time that month? The worst part was she fell asleep after they had sex, meaning she spent the night. This was not good. Falling asleep in his arms was not part of the post-divorce sex arrangement. She was supposed to get out of there right after and be on her way. Perry didn't stir at all as she quietly slid out from under the covers and grabbed her clothes. She dressed as she walked to the front door, closing it quietly as she hurried to her car.

She was supposed to meet Jake tonight, their fifth date. That was kind of a record for her. It was usually one date, maybe sex and then she'd never call him again. But Jake, he was different, there was something about him that she couldn't explain. She also couldn't explain why she still went to Perry when she had a hot man who satisfied her just fine.

When she got home, a message from Jake was on her machine. She couldn't help but smile like a giggly teenager at his voice, telling her he'd be there at 8. She liked him, a lot, and continuing things with Perry would ruin this for her. Tonight would be the night she ended things, for good.

After a long nap and hot shower, Jordan felt a lot better about things. She took one last glance in the mirror, smoothing her hair and dress. It was almost 6:00, two hours to end it for good with Perry…she could do it.

* * *

She slid her key into his door, opening it to reveal him on the couch, a glass in his hand. Her stomach twisted at the way his eyes lit up just a tiny bit at the sight of her. If ending things was the right thing for her, why the hell did it feel so wrong?

She sat next to him, taking a swallow from his glass of scotch.

She wanted to tell him they needed to stop, tell him it was wrong, tell him they were always going to be a disaster together, but she could only lean forward and kiss him, tasting scotch on his lips.

She told him she had an hour before her date with Jake and he'd nodded, carefully unzipping her dress.

The sex was amazing that night, it was on a whole different level than anything she'd felt before, and she didn't know why. He'd looked into her eyes that night, really looked and as cynical as she was, she felt like he was looking right into her soul. They lay together in the aftermath, both of them slowly coming down from their intense high. She broke the silence by telling him she wasn't going to do this anymore, told him the post-divorce sex was over. He nodded, said ok, and they lay in silence for a few moments, neither ready to let go just yet.

She glanced at the clock, 7:30, time to go. She dressed quickly and fixed her hair and makeup in his bathroom. He was sitting up in bed when she emerged, ready for Jake to take her out. She kissed him softly, whispering goodbye as she hurried out the door.

She made it home five minutes before Jake arrived. He told her she was gorgeous, glowing, sexy, and she'd smiled.

* * *

Two weeks had passed and tonight was date eight for her and Jake. After the movie he'd driven them back to her place, kissing her neck as she unlocked the door. His hands on her felt so much different than Perry's hands. He was gentler than Perry, and she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. She liked things rough, but there were times when she liked being held, when she needed to know that she was loved. No matter how much of an ice queen she seemed to be, there was a woman in Jordan that had been hurt, a woman that needed more than sex, a woman who wanted love and babies and forever.

As Jake kissed her temple and rolled off her, Perry's face flashed in her mind. She wondered what he was doing, wondered if he was alone, wondered if he had some new girl in his bed. She hated thinking about this, the idea of him with someone else made her stomach knot and her heart pound. He wasn't supposed to have anyone else. If he couldn't have her, he should be alone, right?

The need to know that she was still the most important woman in his life took hold of her and refused to let her go. She left Jake sleeping and grabbed her cell phone. She curled up on the couch and dialed his number.

He answered on the second ring.

"Jordan?"

"I can't sleep."

"Oh…how're you and what's his name?"

"Fine."

"That's good. Is it getting serious?"

"Yeah, I guess. He's a lawyer, practically married to the job, but I know how that goes."

"Yeah…um, why are you calling, Jordan? I thought this thing was over. You probably just screwed John or whatever his name is. Shouldn't you be killing him and eating him now?"

"Yeah…Per, I just…are you alone?"

"Yeah, me and the TV, Jor."

"Per…I need to see you…I'm on my way."

"Ok…I'll be here."

She hung up, and grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. Jake didn't stir. She scribbled a quick note about a family emergency and left. She drove quickly, speeding the entire way.

* * *

He was on the couch, as usual when she opened the door. No words were said as he walked to her and pulled her into a passionate kiss. The sex was hurried and intense, her back slamming against the wall as he moved inside her.

"He could be good for me, you know? You're going to make me ruin it all because I can't stop coming back here," she said softly, her forehead resting on his shoulder as they stood, catching their breaths.

"It's just sex, we can end it whenever we want, Jordie."

"I think we should end it, and this time I mean it."

"That's what you said two weeks ago."

"This was a mistake, I'm not going to do this again."

She pulled away from him, re-arranged her clothes and kissed his cheek.

He stood there, letting her walk out of his apartment, out of his life, and this time, knowing it was probably for good.

* * *

He hadn't touched Jordan in well over a month. She hadn't called, hadn't even spared him a glance at the hospital when they passed each other. She looked good, happy. He figured that Jake guy was good for her…and that's why he wanted to beat the shit out of him.

The phone rang at 2 in the morning, waking Perry from his fitful sleep.

"Hello."

"Uh…Per, it's me."

"Jor…uh, what's…how…what do you want?"

"I'm on my way over."

"'Kay…um…"

She hung up before he could say more and he was surprised to find his heart hammering wildly.

She let herself in, and went right to his bed, slipping her shoes off and sliding in beside him.

"He's at my apartment right now. Probably sleeping still."

She was looking at him, and he was surprised to find vulnerability in her eyes. She was just as ruined by them as he was. This thing, whatever the hell it was that held them to each other was still there, it was always there. Even through the fighting and the hatred and the divorce…it'd always be there…and realizing that she could never be free from him didn't scare her like it should've, deep down, she knew she didn't want to be free.

"Why are you back here?"

She swallowed, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She wanted to tell him the truth, tell him she missed him more than she thought possible, but she was Jordan, and she would never do that.

"I'm bored with him, the sex is less than satisfying…and I'm dumping him soon."

"Ah, so we can go back to post-divorce sex now?"

"Yeah, god knows you've probably been having a dry spell without me."

"I'll have you know plenty of women want me, Jordan."

"Right, Perry," she said, shutting him up with her lips on his and her hands roaming over his body. She was going to make sure that she was the only woman in his bed, and maybe someday they would be able to admit that it had always been more than sex, always love.


End file.
